Staying alive...oh I mean awake

not that I totally know the difference at the moment...its 7 o clock in the morning and I am practically keeping my eyes open with toothpicks trying to stay awake...I just finished up a night shift from lastnight and as JT is at work till 10 I have to stay awake for my little man...who is sleeping like an angel in our bed...I so desperately want to go snuggle with him but I know the moment I do Ill pass out...so Im writing to stay awake...so much for a couple of days off work huh...so Im back there again tonight at 10.30 till 6.30...then have Sunday off or sort of...more sleeping and then shopping and running errands Monday then...you got it back to work Tuesday...only Im not just doing my usual 2 till 9.30 Im also doing the Tuesday night too...till 6.30...so a massive double...omg what have I gotten myself into...positive is the girl I swapped with is doing my Wednesday so more time to sleep...bliss...then back on Thursday and THATS it for the week...especially the weekend...I am planning to do something extra special with Luke this weekend and he gets to choose what it is...no point in working all these hours if you cant have any fun...so I think so far hes decided on bowling...might throw in Maccas too...Im due for af around Sunday too...so lets hope that continually working these crazy hours keeps me distracted a bit longer...oh Sundays tomorrow...hehe damn these night shifts throw you out...so tomorrow is CD 27 and today is now CD 26...oh the body clock is going nuts...Im not even sure how I feel about ttc this month even though Im so close to af due date...I guess thats the beauty of distraction...so from my previous entry I kicked my own ass...I have cut way way way back on bad stuff and have been really really really good...I have been drinking heaps of water and eating good stuff not crap...still working on my mental state but Im getting there...oh I wish my little guy would wake up so I cant be tempted to just shut my eyes which we all know what that will eventuate into...bless his big gorgeous heart and soul hes an angel when hes asleep...sleep sleep sleep sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...I can only dream.